Welp, goodbye ward. :) it was lovely knowing you.

I've found I just can't talk to the people I care about for fear that I'll say something without thinking and they'll freak out for my future. Things happen.

This is that moment when you realize that you've completely changed as a person, and the entirety of said change has occurred in a little less than a week.

The Temple

This is that moment where everything is perfect and it doesn't even matter that not everything makes sense. J'aime le temple.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Dear Friends,
The time has come for me to make a bit of an announcement. It's still on the DL, as in, I'm not making it entirely public yet, so please don't spread it around; I figure since only 3 people consistently read this blog, it's fine that I post it here. Are you ready? Here we go:

I AM GOING ON A MISSION!

Now, this is probably something you've wondered about, seeing as I've been talking about it since I was 15. However, the time has officially come. I've turned in my papers to the bishop, and we will be submitting them to the first presidency by next Tuesday (if all goes according to plan). Friends, I am going on a mission and I couldn't be happier. :)

Loves,
(the soon-to-be-exclusively) Sister B

Some things are best left silent

Friends, I haven't posted in a while. But you should know, my life is changing so much right now. So. Much. Something changed last weekend, and apparently it was a catalyst for a whole heap of changes, because I can hardly keep pace with the full-on sprint that my life has become. One of these days, I will tell y'all all about it, but for now, I don't want to jinx it. I'm just going to say that big things are coming. Very big things.

The week of July 29-August 4

Let me just tell you about last week. Monday was a fairly normal day, which wrapped up with a long walk and a paper boat race down the south hill river. Epic? Yes. I was also asked to join a softball team, which I had to refuse, unfortunately.

Tuesday I did something awesome, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it is.

Wednesday I went to see Step Up Revolution with Karen. Dumb writing, poor acting, BANGIN dancing! Plus the soundtrack has some sweet stuff. All in all, for what we were expecting (which was a crappy dancing movie) it was great.

Not my picture, but a sweet one.

Thursday was an exciting day. I worked grounds (bleh) where we were told that we had to catch and "take care of" a domestic duck that someone had dropped off at the duck pond. By "take care of" they usually mean "kill brutally," but with me around, the crew is always a bit more humane (mostly because otherwise I verbally, and occasionally physically, kick their sorry butts), which meant that the duck would be transported to the Provo City River near the Motion Picture Studio. Acceptable. They had been chasing it for about 45 minutes, being as cruel as possible without me taking them out. They were trying to frighten it to the edge of the pond so they could trap it under a net and shove it in a bucket. I was highly opposed to the idea, but realized that the duck would die at the pond if we didn't do anything, so I allowed them to continue on the condition that they wouldn't hurt the duck or scare it too badly. Finally, I decided I would take it on myself to catch the duck, seeing as the others were clearly incompetent big-fat-meanies. I climbed down onto a rock and held out my arms, saying, "come here little ducky-poo. I won't hurt you, I just want to help you. You're so tired, let me give you a ducky hug." The duck swam towards me. He was just out of reach when the others came running, yelling, "get it! Get it!" He swam away. I kept talking to the duck as I walked around the pond, and he kept swimming next to me, quacking his happy little ducky quacks, but the others kept scaring him off. Finally, I stepped down onto another rock, and held out my arms. "Come here, little ducky-poo. Don't worry, I'm nice." The duck swam over. The duck climbed up onto the rock next to me. The duck waddled into place in front of me, tucked in his wings, and turned around so he was facing away from me. Then he looked over his ducky shoulder and cocked his little ducky head like, "well, pick me up already!" and turned back around. So I picked him up in a nice little ducky hug. I then talked to him and told him what a handsome duck he was while I carried him happily across the street. We then got in the truck and took him to the river where he quacked his happy little duck speech.

Not an actual picture of my ducky friend, but this is what he looked like (except he was chubby-er)

RANT TIME: Be responsible with your ducks. If you want to buy your children "Easter pets" like rabbits, ducks, or chicks, remember that baby animals grow into not-baby animals, and you're still responsible to take care of them once they're huge and pooey and not-so-cute-and-tiny.

(Cute, yes. But don't get carried away)

After working the rest of the day, I played two softball games, went for a two hour bike ride, and had a bonfire. The only catch is, I got a motorcycle burn in the process. I was on my way to the softball games when I got it. I stopped for gas and forgot that I was wearing shorts (not my usual long pants for riding). I went to pull my scooter closer to the pump and ended up leaning up against the burning hot muffler with the front of my left shin. I heard a tsssss and felt excruciating pain. I jumped back and saw lots of missing skin and grossness. Let me tell you, it hurts REAL bad to get a motorcycle burn, so I wouldn't suggest it. Also, you know when you're a little kid and you put liquid glue on your hand in a thin layer, then wait for it to dry so you can peel it off and pretend like your hand is mega peeling? Well, that's what it looked like around the edges, except it wasn't glue... it was my body. Sick, I know.

Not even a very gross picture. You'll thank me for that. 

So, I eventually made it to the game, but no one had any bandages (which is ridiculous to me, because I play on a medical team where every player is either a doctor, a nurse, a PA, a surgeon, or a profusionist), thus I played in the dirt for several hours. When I got home, I knew I had to clean it, so I gritted my teach and swabbed the area with rubbing alcohol, which, naturally, hurt like death. I then embarked on the bike ride with Holli, which was awesome. We ended up at her place where we built a fire and roasted marshmallows and bananas.

Friday was a fairly normal day. I worked the morning, then convinced my good friend Liz to go with me to visit my little ducky friend. We fed him and I patted his soft little noggin with my finger. He gobbled up the bread I brought and quacked happily as I talked to him. I've visited him every day since, but as of now, he's either moved on to bigger and better things or some loving family has claimed him, because I can't find him anymore. :( I hope he's safe and happy wherever he is.      ...I was supposed to go to a concert with Joy (and others) Friday night, but she ended up being sick, and I was so exhausted that I just decided to stay home and watch You've Got Mail. Love that movie.

P.S. If he's a boy, his name is Norman. If he's a girl, her name is Gertrude. Such a lovely little ducky-poo. :)

Once again, not MY duck, but a duck that looks like my duck. :)

Saturday, I was doing laundry when I realized that Liz and Chalece had left their windows unlocked. This is significant because they were both supposed to be out of town this weekend. Liz was already in Idaho, and Chalece had "supposedly" already left. Thus, I decided to buy, blow up, and transport 152  12" balloons so that Liz and Chalece would have an apartment full of balloons when they returned. This plan was brilliant, and was working out very well. Madeleine and I blew them up all day while we watched the Olympics. After only a few balloon casualties, we were finished. After playing in the balloons for several hours, we sneaked down to climb through one of the many open windows... only to find them all locked. Somehow, Chalece left, then came back, then left without us realizing, and in the meantime, she locked all the windows. This being the case, my apartment was filled with 150 "we like to pop at the most inconvenient of times and scare the shnikies out of you" balloons for two days. :) In case you're wondering, we merely waited until Liz got home, then sneaked them into her apartment while she was unpacking. She opened her door, found everything as usual, used the bathroom, then went back out to her car. By the time she came back from her car (which was only about 20 feet from her apartment), her apartment was FILLED with balloons and all of us ladies were madly giggling in our darkened and quieted apartment. Unfortunately for us, Liz knows me well enough to know it was me, so within about 5 minutes, we heard a banging on our door, then Liz walked in, laughing with fake anger. Happy moments. :)

Please notice and appreciate the fact that I consolidated a week's worth of blogging into one post. Please also note and appreciate that I broke up that mega-post with pictures for your viewing pleasure. You're welcome.

Behold.

Need a bit of encouragement? Here, let me give it to you:

:)

Seven-day Weekend

This weekend began with Monday, when Eileen called to invite me to her place for pioneer day. I decided to ride up with James and Sarah (long-time-no-see cousins), which was awesome. We watched the parade, hung out, went to Red Butte garden (which was SO cool), then made and consumed a delicious feast with the cousins. Eileen and I also got to visit David and Heidi and my new niece Elise when she dropped me off at home :). Wednesday I went to a Sigur Ros documentary/concert entitled Heima. It was so so so amazing. Afterwards I stopped by dinner group to partake of delicious curry and naan (which I LOVE). Thursday I worked, helped my roommate replace her taillight, then went to the Twilight Concert Series up in SLC with some friends from work. Band of Horses was the headliner with Lower Dens opening for them. It was such a great concert. It was outdoors, making the constant clouds of pot dissipate fairly well, haha. It was crazy and crazy fun, and I even got to see Anne! She came downtown to meet up with me :). We got home wicked late, but it was so worth it. Friday I had a bleh day at work, but afterwards I left for my Goblin Valley camping trip. We arrived and set up camp, then climbed some hoodoos. Once the sun set, we went into the actual valley to see the goblins. It was so creepily cool! I would highly suggest it. That night it rained, but we slept a bit anyway. Saturday morning we woke up around 4:30 or 5 to go into the valley before sunrise. It was so fun to run around and climb the hoodoos. Afterwards, we packed up camp and drove to little wild horse canyon. It's a slot canyon near goblin valley, and is so amazing! We came home and I hung out with my roommates. We went and got pita pockets then ate them at a park. Afterwards we got donuts and ate them while we drove through the car wash. Total stoner activity, but totally fun sober. :) We came home and watched a movie. This morning I woke up with a mysteriously swelled eye, which has slowly turned into a black eye. All I can think is that I must have walloped myself in the night haha. Other than that it's just been a low-key day. Happy Sunday to all!

I couldn't love any band more than I love Sigur Ros right now! Love. Love. Love.

For your viewing pleasure

This Day

Today. What can I say about today?

Today I slept in. I went to one job, then the other. I played like a little kid, running through halls, laughing hysterically, driving big trucks, blaring music. I cooked a fabulous meal, and was adored for doing so. I volunteered and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I met someone who immediately rubbed me the wrong way. I discussed love. I pranked a very good friend with two other very good friends. I drove in the rain. Now I will sleep.

Once upon a happily ever after, I broke into a house, took the keys to a truck, then drove 50 miles. Boy was the owner surprised when I showed up in his truck.

Regarding the time Carin saw a unicorn

My friend Carin ate some flowers along the trail. Then she saw a unicorn.

"It's soooo beautiful!!!" she said. "Kessia, can you see the beautiful unicorn?"

Kessia: "It's a tree stump."

Carin: "It must have used it's magic to change into a tree stump so it wouldn't be discovered. It's probably the last unicorn alive! ...and we SAW it!!!"


She then proceeded to pick up every piece of litter along the trail. Though she didn't tell us she was planning this as she was picking it up, she later turned the trash into a public display to prevent further littering. It said, "Earth says stop" and was written in litter on the grass in front of our apartment complex.

Regarding the time I went backpacking

This weekend, I embarked on a fifteen mile backpacking trip wherein we were supposed to begin deep in Provo canyon, hike up and around a mountain, then descend to Vivian Park where our journey would end. Simple, right? Not so.

Let's begin at the beginning:

Friday, 4:00 pm. We all pile our bodies and our gear into 4 cars, then drive to Vivian Park where we leave 2 cars for the return journey. We then drive all the way up the canyon to this tiny little town who's name escapes me (because, yes, it is just that small). We wind through this little town, wondering if we're lost, when we finally find the road we're looking for and follow it. A few minutes later, it turns into a very rough dirt road. Mind you, we're in two little sedans, not equipped for off-roading, but we press on (or should I say bounce, jolt, and lose-our-lunch on). Finally, we come to a river with rather large rocks jutting out of it. At this point, everyone (except for the semi-egotistical-but-still-awesome guy who we will call "David") decides that it would be a very bad idea to try to cross it. David, however, decides that if he drives the car, it will magically get through unscathed. We all pile out to lessen the load, and he proceeds to crunch, crash, and break the car while crossing the river. Luckily for him, he's loaded and willing to pay for the damages. Unluckily for the rest of us, after realizing how badly he may have destroyed our friend's car, he decided that we wouldn't drive it any farther in case it exploded (a leaking fuel line was a definite possibility).

5:30 ish pm. We all grab our packs and begin trudging up the last mile or two of road before the trail head. We finally come to a big fork in the road. There's a man there camping in an RV, so we ask him which direction will take us to the certain trail we were looking for (because, naturally, neither the GPS David brought nor the map he printed off were any good). The man pointed us down a road, gave us one look and said, "that's a STEEP trail; you sure you wanna hike it? I couldn't even get my dirt bike up it!" We say yes, thank him, and continue down the road.

6 or 6:30 pm. We finally make it to the trail head, but we're still not sure if it's the right one. We just keep walking up it til we hit a fork in the trail. David decides that, since his GPS and map aren't any good, we should go on the more narrow and dangerous trail (naturally). So we hike about 15 minutes up this trail, but when we run into a flock of baaa-ing sheep and their barking sheep dog, David decides to check the map again, and announces that this is definitely the wrong trail. So we hike back to the fork and begin the "real" trail.

We hike. And hike. And hike. And it is all straight uphill (because, let's face it: we're climbing from the bottom of a mountain to the peak of a mountain, and there are only three small switchbacks with the rest of the trail being straight up). We hike about 6 miles, then, having reached the summit of the mountain, decided to set up camp.

8:30 pm. After setting up camp, David informed us that this was not actually the right trail, and that if we wanted to hike through like we planned, we would have to hike back down and start over. We boycotted and decided that, come morning, we would simply hike back down the trail we had previously ascended. We ate dinner, explored, and made camp in time to watch the sun set at 9:30.

Thus far, we had seen: deer, chipmunks, woodpeckers, a moose, sheep, dogs, a horse, and lots of random birds.

This ends part one of my backpacking trip. Soon to come: I meet a bear and Carin sees a unicorn.

Soon To Come...

I don't have the time or energy to blog about it tonight, but in the very near future, you will be privileged to read:

"Maren and the creepy naked man," a section of the larger tale, "Maren and Holli go hiking."

Be excited.

(but not too excited... there won't be any pictures in this post! haha)

On a separate-but-related note from my previous post, I accidentally got stabbed with rusty wire today. When did I last get a tetanus shot...?

Sometimes, near-death is unavoidable.

So, today I went for a ride on my scoot scoot. I was planning on driving for a while, then watching a softball game and hanging out at a park. When I got on my scooter, I realized that I was low on gas, and would have to fill up soon. I made it to the fields just fine, then decided I didn't want to stay for the game because it wasn't very exciting. I got back on my scooter and decided that I should get gas before I headed home. I'm not super familiar with the neighborhood the game was in, so I drove around for a bit before I found a gas station. I finally found one, filled up, and got back on the road to head home. I wasn't entirely sure where I was, so I made a point of checking out the street signs, and I realized, somewhat nervously, that I was on center street, which is a semi-busy street and is currently hazardous because of crazy construction. I started looking for places to turn around because I really didn't want to be on center street, but found that there were no turn around spots, nor were there any other roads I could pull off on to. I kept going, figuring I'd find a spot eventually. I came to a light where the street was blocked off. The only way I could go was left, which was marked as a detour, which I was really excited because it meant I could get off center street. I turned onto the road designated for the detour and found myself trapped on a one-way only entrance to the freeway. 


Let's just talk about my scoot scoot for a moment. My poor scooter has been through a lot. It's been laid out (by the previous owner), crashed into a tree (by my in-law's family), crashed into a garage (by a family member), and, for lack of a better description, squashed to the point of pieces being broken off (by a friend). Needless to say, it is not exactly in the best condition. It runs, and it does really well most of the time, but sometimes it makes me nervous to think about all of the damage and breakage it's been put through (once again, not by me). Combine that with the fact that the max speed on my scooter is about 55 or 60 mph when you're on a level surface, and you've got a bit of a picture for the fiasco at hand.
  
Back to the freeway. So, I get on the freeway, terrified, and crank back the throttle as far as it will go; I'm going as fast as this thing can possibly go. There are cars everywhere, trying to get home in the latter end of rush hour. The freeway is, as always, under construction, and there are semis driving right next to me. Add extremely high wind (enough to make my scooter wobble and jerk at a normal speed), undefined lanes, debris on the road, and drivers passing me (very closely, I might add) every few seconds, and you've just about got the picture. I clutch the handlebars like they're my only salvation (let's face it, at this point they are), grit my teeth, and scream my way down a 4 or 5 mile stretch of Utah freeway. I came close to getting clipped by about three cars, and a semi came dangerously close to me when he should have been in his own lane, but I finally made it to the first available exit. 


Now, at this point, you're probably thinking, "but I see motorcycles on the freeway all the time; what's the big deal?" You'd be right in asking this. The difference is that the motorcycles that you see on the freeway are AT LEAST 250 ccs, but are usually no smaller than about 400 or 500 ccs, meaning that they are heavier (thus more stable and safe), faster, and bigger (more visible). My scooter is a 150 cc that is extremely light and fairly unnoticeable. While my scooter absolutely rocks city streets, it was never intended for anything bigger than a boulevard. What happened today is the equivalent of riding a child's tricycle on a busy city street. Dangerous, stupid, and nearly impossible to survive. 


Typical freeway bikes:

My scooter:

Can everyone see the difference?

:)

Apparently this is impossible to read. The words say, "Fake is Better--I'm no sweater!" then "savethesheep.com.

Do something

So, I follow the humane society on Facebook, and today they posted a petition to stop gestational crate confinement for pigs. I went to sign the petition, and in the process ended up watching (part) of a horrendous video. I had to stop watching before I even got halfway through because it was so disturbing.

I ate pulled pork for lunch today. I'm so disgusted with myself right now, because I don't know how the pigs that provided the meat were treated. I can't eat any more meat today. I just can't. I feel sick.

If you want to sign the petition (please) or watch the video (I wouldn't advise it), here's the link:
https://secure.humanesociety.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=5403

Tres bon

If you haven't already seen The Artist, you should. I saw it last night and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. If you can, see it in theaters (dollar theater, ya know). I know it's out on DVD, or is at least close to being out, but there's something about seeing it with other people that makes it great. :)

Rockin'

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes = everything is way more hardcore than it was before. :)

Pajamas

Welp, I was supposed to be going camping this weekend, but a friend's tragedy has delayed our trip by two weeks. What does this mean? All of my roommates will be gone but me. Helloo solitary confinement.

Little Lion Maren

Today is a brain-melt day. Time for Mumford and Sons and a soft place to plop.

Funny funny, little bunny.

What do you call an alligator who likes wearing vests?

An investigator!!! :) Hahaha.

My friend Trevor told me that.

Sneaky Me

I crawl under the radar like a soldier on hands and knees, creeping slowly, hoping no one will notice as I pass by. It's working. Mwahaha

Can't buy happiness

Today was a nearly perfect day. :) Nothing in particular made it so. In fact, it had all the workings of a dreadful day, but somehow I'm completely content right now.

Happiness

You know those moments when everything is so perfect that you wish you could freeze time and just stay there forever? I had several of those moments this weekend. :)

KesRob

You are more beautiful to me than you will ever realize. Thank you for being a friend, a mentor, an example, and a surrogate sister. Someday I hope I can look at the person I've become and see a bit of you looking back at me. Forever strong, that's who you are.

An Adventure With My Girls

Today my friend was telling me why I'm her favorite person. She said:

Girl, have you looked in the mirror lately? You're funny!

I know she meant them as two separate thoughts, but I couldn't stop from busting up.

At least 200 times in the last two weeks... no joke.

Do you ever have a song that you just listen to over and over again? Recently, mine's been "Dear Moon" by the Blue Aces. You don't know how much it means to me.

On life and death

It's just a bug. Just a little beetle. Just an insignificant little thing.

Then why do I feel so sad?

Last night I got to bed rather late (about 4 am). When I finally made it in to my room, I closed the windows, dropped the blinds, and plopped on my bed, falling asleep within just a few minutes of hitting the pillow. This morning I woke up, talked to my roommate, took care of a few things, the went to open my window. I pulled up on the blinds, slid the window open, and looked down in horror as I saw a tiny little beetle lying splayed on his back where the blinds used to be.
His poor little legs were wriggling like he was in some horrible pain, and he looked like he wanted to run away, so I quickly grabbed a scrap of paper and helped flip him so his feet could touch the ground. That just made things worse. I didn't realize until then that one (maybe two?) of his legs were missing, so instead of getting up and scampering away like I hoped he would, he just spun in circles; half his body was dragging against the ground because he had no leg on that side, but the other half was frantically trying to save itself, resulting in a sickening spinning.
I realized what must have happened: this poor little beetle was minding his own business, crawling along my open window ledge, when suddenly my blinds slammed down on him mid-stride. He had been pinned like that all night, and probably lost the leg(s) trying to escape. I felt so bad.
I was getting ready to squash him to put him out of his misery when he collapsed completely. I sat and watched sadly as his legs went from thrashing frantically to barely moving at all, then curling up under his body in complete stillness. I stayed with him as he passed, praying that God would be quick about taking his little beetle spirit up quickly so my tiny little friend wouldn't have to suffer any more. When I noticed that he hadn't moved for a few minutes, and didn't even twitch away when I blew gently on him, I found a picture I drew a couple of days ago, rolled it up and taped it closed. Then I scooped his little body into the make-shift tube of a coffin and walked out onto the front lawn of my apartment complex. I knelt by the planter box and dug a little hole with my fingers. When it was deep enough, I gave the beetle one final walk around the front area so he could remember what it was like to be outside, then I gently placed the little casket in the hole, covered it up with dirt, and walked away.

He was just a bug. Just a tiny little beetle. Just an insignificant little guy.

But I feel so bad.

(For those of you who don't understand the title, it's "my life is less than average." haha)

Here's why:

I'm a decent cook. I'm not going to lie and say I'm great. I'm not even going to say I'm really good. Nope. I'm decent. I make food that is good, flavorful, and usually at least somewhat healthy. Conversely, I am NOT a bad cook at all. It's pleasant and edible, just not anything you're going to write about in your journal.

But here's the thing: something about dinner group makes all my food turn out horribly. Recipes I've been doing "all my life" suddenly turn out horribly wrong. Everything tastes slightly less than mediocre (but is thankfully at least not poisonous). I don't know what it is about cooking for more than just 2 or 3 people, but I am a TERRIBLE dinner group cook. I feel so bad for my dinner groupies.

The only plus of this is I'm learning to be VERY humble.

Surriously

This is how my literature class goes:

2 hour lecture on Monday... "ok, be sure to read the Epic of Gilgamesh for Wednesday!"
300ish pages later...
2 hour lecture on Wednesday... "ok, be sure to read the first third of the Iliad for Friday!"
300 pages later...
2 hour lecture on Friday... "ok, be sure to read the rest of the Iliad for Monday. Also, be sure to read Plato's Republic, Plato's Apology, the Sophists, and the Pre-Socratics as found online."
600 + 40 + 12 + 10 +10 pages later...
2 hour lecture on Monday... "ok, be sure to read the Oresteia (in its entirety) for Wednesday!"
400 pages later...
2 hour lecture today... "well, bye everyone!"
           "What, no reading?! No homework?!"
       "Of course not; that's absurd!"
           "O.o"
       "You have your midterm on Friday! Study everything we've talked about and all the literature we've covered. You'll need write a 7ish page in-depth analysis of major themes and how they correlate between different pieces we've studies, as well as the correlation of literature to history and major paradigm shifts in the community. You'll also need to be able to identify and discuss passages from each of the texts by both author and title, as well as where the passage falls within the storyline. I would advise that you re-read what we've covered and focus on important passages. Know the authors, the titles, the main themes, the historical background, the contextual significance, and, well, everything else. Good luck!"

1,672 pages of literature, 29 pages of historical context, 51 pages of introduction, and 34 pages of notes later...

Love me spring term.

The Pursuit of Happiness (kid cudi)

Walking down the streets of Vegas, I remember seeing worn-out people going about their worn-out lives, thinking how strange it was that they seemed to have nowhere to be, no one to need to talk to, nothing to do. They always had some sort of wall up between them and me: a hood, headphones, big baggy clothes... whatever it was that just said, "I'm doin me, so don't come bustin in on my thoughts." They'd walk by me struttin' their swag and I thought how different we were.

Now I'm one of them, walking the streets with my hood up, jamming to headphones. I walk aimlessly and occasionally loiter, waiting for homies to get off work so we can kick it, looking for something to interest me in between the fun times. Waiting to hang is like waiting for your next high; you start getting jittery and restless, but there's nothing you can do except wait, cause your supplier is running late.

But here's the thing: I'm not just waiting on people; I'm waiting on the world.

Waking up at 4 in the morning because you forgot to eat the day before and your body is hungry: uncool.

Not being able to get back to sleep: uncool-er.

Falling asleep in a really important lecture: eh, could go either way.

Dear Moon

"Dear moon, could I maybe have this talk with you, moon? Maybe just a walk with you, moon?" (I've listened to this song at least 25 times in the last hour. I love it. Thank you The Blue Aces.)

Today. Today is the day I decided to drown my thoughts in nothingness and embrace the fact that life goes on whether we like it or not, and all we can do is try to make tomorrow better than today. Cheers. Tomorrow will be better.

Dinosaur

You were my friend first. Now you're my relief society president, and I can never hang out with you because I feel like you're trying to be an ecclesiastical leader, not a friend. Let's just go back to being friends; you can be an rsp for everyone else, but I need you to only be my friend. Thanks :)

Hector

I am in love with a man who may or may not exist. I'm really hoping that he exists.

L-I-F-E

Life is never what you expect it to be.
In fact, as soon as you expect it, Life changes before your very eyes.

Life never goes as planned.
In fact, as soon as you plan it, Life finds a way of ruining your plans.

Life never warns you it's going to wreak havoc.
In fact, as soon as you realize the havoc Life has wreaked, the havoc is nearly over.

Life is never when, where, or with whom you think it to be.
In fact, as soon as it is, Life becomes a quest to find sometime, someplace, and someone new.

Life never lets you be.
In fact, as soon as you think you've got a break, Life fills in the gaps with stress and frustration.

Life never stops moving forward.
In fact, as soon as you suppose it's stopped, you realize Life has kept going without you.

Life is always a surprise.

"Sometimes it takes courage to realize that you're not happy with your situation. It takes even more courage to do something about it" (sic). -my mumsie

Wicked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U0NFgoNI7s&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LM8JhvfoqdA

Just Another Post by Ren

Rant rant rant, whine whine whine, complain complain complain. Vague and cryptic allusion, attempt at erudition or whit, self-deprecation, cloaked hints, [possible white-girl gangsta phrase]. Obscure reference, attempt at humor, complain, whine, reflective prose. Second wind of rant, whine, rant, complain, [possible manipulative/subliminal message]. Introspective monologue, rambling thoughts, whine, whine, complain. Cynically optimistic conclusion with a tinge of hope and redemption. 

Afterthought.

Something no one gets, probably not even Ren.

I don't love you, and I always will.

My dream in life is to hear the Civil Wars play live.

Barton's Hollow

Sometimes I feel like this song is perfect.

Also, I despise money.

Also, I don't want to shake off the glitter. I just want it to consume me.

Finally, I must sleep.

This is the part where I tell you what's going on in my life, isn't it? The part where I write as though no one will ever see these words except for myself and my conscience. The part where I conceal the truth with the altered reality of a romantic life view. This is the part where I lie, but I pretend to be sincere. Am I wrong?


Today I rode so many miles, I don't even know if I could fully tally them. I pedaled until my legs were tight with the effort, then I pedaled some more. I sprinted until my breath came tearing across my lungs with each inspiration, yet on I went, keeping easy pace with the speeding cars. I leapt into intersections, swerving to avoid screeching tires, weaving to dodge pedestrians. I pedaled and pedaled and pedaled until the only thing that existed was the pressure of the pedals under my feet and the cacophony of silence that filled my ears as the still air whipped against my shooting frame.


My life is a long-exposure photograph, with lights blurring all around me as the movement of daily life slides from my awareness. I pedal, the only solid object in my life being the bike beneath me.

I am constant in my inadequacies, yet the world seems to think I'll change, perhaps join the blur of the long-exposure light; but I will forever be the girl who is constant, the girl who is a blur, but a constant blur, a blur that is made up of girl and bicycle.

I don't need to run from my problems. Running isn't fast enough. Biking is much more suitable. But frankly, I'd rather square up for a round of chicken with my problems: we'll come at each other full speed, and we'll just see who gives out first. All I know is at the end of the day, I'll still be the girl on the bicycle, speeding endlessly down the bumpy torn-up road.